NOW YOU SEE ME

By SHAKEEL JURANGPATHY

“NO MORE!” He said. As he took one more shot of bourbon to drown his sorrows.

“NO MORE!” He said. As he took one more line of pure cocaine to help take him to a world with no judgement, no responsibilities, only hopes of easing his anxiety.

“NO MORE!” He said. As he left the apartment of the girl he met the night before, too afraid to trust in someone thinking that she wouldn’t understand him.

“NO MORE!” He said. As he dragged a razor blade along his bruised wrist to help ease the pain, and one step closer to ending his life. Clearly not his first and certainly not the last. Day by day his life wasted like a cigarette after every drag. His mind constantly wandering and endless tears pouring down his cheeks. Nothing could help him feel less depressed, rejected and suicidal. Worthless, helpless and hopelessness were some of the many emotions he felt as he tortured himself to sleep with substances thinking that it would all go away. Little did he know that it only made it worse.

“NO MORE!” He said. As he went on to live another day.

He woke up the next morning feeling the same as usual, it was Monday. A full-time career forced him to get out of bed, get dressed and put on a fake smile. But inside he was burning, aching to reach out to someone yet too afraid to show his vulnerability. His co-workers did not dare ask about his personal life as he would always belittle them when it came to talking about his highly exaggerated, extravagant and glamorous lifestyle. If that wasn’t convincing enough, his Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook pages were. But the need to feel accepted also made him invisible.

“Clearly a man like him had nothing to worry about” his co-workers would say. If only they knew he was the master of disguise, as he learnt from the best. As a child, his abusive parents tortured him in the morning and entertained guests for his 10th birthday party in the evening. Like every child spoke their first word, his was “Suicide.”

A week later the police found a man in his apartment who was thought to have no symptoms of depression hanging from a ceiling fan. His friends and co-workers could never have predicted it. He carried a smile so bright in the eyes of society that even he was convinced that it was real. His friends and family reacted like they felt his pain by posting tributes on social media to honor his memory only to seek attention by counting the likes and views their post might get.

Love needed to be accepted by others, a respected career was fundamental, social status on the highest pedestal and expectations are at its peak. This is what everyone really cares about. Not health, security and family. For those are what we really need to look up to. Most people don’t believe something can happen until it already has. That’s not stupidity or weakness, that’s just human nature.

Mental health and suicide is an issue that’s taking the world by storm, not because of the issue itself but of how people seem to understand the simplicity of taking a leap you can never return from. Over the past years people have found ingenious and more discomforting ways of causing self-inflict. Close to 800,00 people die due to mental health issues and suicide every year. A global phenomenon that no one ever notices. And yet the suspect is still at large.

Mother Nature is a serial killer. No one’s better, or more creative. Like all serial killers, she can’t help the urge to want to get caught. Sometimes the thing you thought was the most brutal aspect of the matter, turns out to be the answer. A simple gesture of kindness can go a long way. More than just letting someone know that you are there for them whenever they need, be there for them for whenever they think they don’t.

A virtuous smile at a face that hasn’t seen one in a while will light up one more star in the sky.

A reassuring embrace for someone who longs for it will mean there’s one less person in desperate need of a human touch.

The words of serenity that can make someone dream at night and be reborn will cause an outburst of ideas that could change this world.

And a lasting gaze into the eyes of the hurt will mean one haler full human.

THIS IS WHY WE ARE HERE. 

  • “I’m not like them, but I can pretend / The day is done and I’m havin’ fun / I think I’m dumb / Maybe just happy.”

 

-Kurt Cobain, Nirvana-

  • Who cares if one more light goes out / In the sky of a million stars? / Who cares when someone’s time runs out, if a moment is all we are? / Who cares if one more light goes out? / Well, I do.

 

-Chester Bennington, Linkin Park-

  • “They’re not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they’re destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you…. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? – – Carpe – – hear it? – – Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.”

 

-Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society-